What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

How can someone determine if their partner is in another romantic relationship, particularly if they do not live together?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

What do you typically do while on meth?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

How can I get my ex-husband to love me again?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

What were the career paths of each member of "The Monkees" after the band disbanded? Did any of them have successful music careers?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

© you're so funny!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why do flat Earthers exist? Why can’t I see the Sun at night? Is it because Earth is not flat?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

TEXT:

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Can Donald Trump use the Alien Friends Act of 1798 to give ALL illegal immigrants an ultimatum: You have 1 month to leave America, after which you will be arrested and jailed for 3 years?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!